24 March 2010

A promised update...

I weighed in last night. 2.4 down in my first week. Not bad. That brings me to 196.6. It also tells me that my scale is pretty much on par with theirs. Mine waivered between 196.6 and 196.4 right before I left (wearing the same clothes I would weigh in wearing).

I will admit that I expected to lose a little more, but really 2.4 is great. The whole line about how this is a marathon, not a sprint... That's what this is, right?

It still feels good just to get back to the meetings. I like the routine.

One thing I have found out, however, is that I don't need an open bag of Kettle brand potato chips (or any other brand, for that matter) sitting in my pantry. I attacked them in the middle of the night. I threw the rest away this morning. My inner cheapskate was screaming at me that I was wasting them, but I didn't want to take the chance of EATING them. And they were free anyway. There's my justification! DING DING!

22 March 2010

Anna the Toothless...

Okay, so she's not toothless. Just minus one tooth. My baby girl has hit another milestone. She is very excited, not only because the Tooth Fairy left her a nice little bit of loot (even though she swallowed said tooth when she lost it while eating cereal... WHOOPS! She left the Tooth Fairy a note, and luckily she's a forgiving lady. She got $2.), but also because she can drink her milk at school (with a straw) through the gap. Isn't it great? That kid makes me laugh. Yes, she also makes me a little crazy, but she's a bit dramatic, and that's okay. Life would be boring without soem of those dramatic people in our lives.

Back in the Game...

I signed up for Weight Watchers again last week. My first weigh in was on Tuesday, and I was 199. Ugh. Just a hair less than 12 pounds up from where I left off. No bueno. But, there's no use in worrying about that (though I often moan and groan about it), because it's time for me to kick some butt. I've been eating pretty clean this week, but if I'm to be honest, it's not with the same dedication and fervor as I started out with last year. I need to get that back. I am getting it back slowly, it seems. I still have my issues with eating in the middle of the night, and I just make sure to record it the best I can and go about my day. Hey, I lost over 50 pounds doing that very same thing last year, right? I can do this again. I will do this again.

That makes it so that I have 39 pounds to lose before I'm at my ultimate goal. I might re-evaluate when I get closer. I know that I will be on the upper end of the healthy BMI levels. My lowest weight ever was 169, and I was in a size 8, yet still considered slightly overweight. (The chart says my highest weight should be 164, I think.) I suppose I really shouldn't even worry about that chart either. There are pro athletes who look FABULOUS who are considered overweight and even obese, because of their extreme muscle mass.

There's a slight wrench thrown in this time around. I also have to think about my husband. (Not that I didn't before, of course.) He feels best when he follows a low carb way of eating. My challenge is that I refuse to make two meals a night, but I want it to be satisfying to both of us. Luckily, he's not picky. Sometimes our dinners consist of soups and salads (which are easy to cater to either way of eating...), and sometimes it's something simple like grilled chicken or beef and a veggie. Goodness knows I don't need any grains. I just like them. LOL!

Tomorrow is my next weigh in, and I will come in here to post. Good or bad. Hopefully good. We shall see. :)

10 March 2010


Remember a couple of posts back? I had stated that I was going to reveal something. The something was that I was pregnant. I'm not sure why I didn't ever come back to update, except that I found myself not being terribly keen on talking about it this time. People who saw me regularly knew, if only because it was pretty visible. I'm pretty sure I started showing the second those two pink lines appeared.

Part of me was nervous to tell, which is odd, because I'm generally a pretty open book. Just check out my Facebook. Of course, I realize that everyone on the earth can potentially read my updates, so there's nothing inappropriate. Just a lot of info that some don't care to share with the public.

Well, I had a feeling from early on that this baby wouldn't make it. The same feeling I had the last time. I chalked it up to being wary, since the last one DID end up in a miscarriage. Really, there was no logical reason to believe it wouldn't be normal. Most women have had a miscarriage. I had also given birth to three perfectly healthy children previously. I don't know what it's like to have pregnancy complications.

So, last Sunday, I went to pick up my daughter and two of her friends from the weekly youth group gathering. They live really close to us, so many times, they will take Allison there, and I will bring the friends back. Win/Win. Hank had just walked through the door, and I was walking out, when I felt a gush. Crap. I knew immediately. I sat on the toilet, and knew I wouldn't be holding this little one either. Hank called the girls' dad, and he picked all the girls up, and the next several hours would probably be some of the worst in my life.

I'm not sure what an early miscarriage is like. My last one was at 13 weeks (though the baby only measured at 10 when we had the U/S). This one was at nearly 16 weeks (I got the BabyCenter email the next day telling me I was 16 weeks. Oops.), and I know I was further along. The last one wasn't painful, but this one was. I also had all the same dizziness from the blood loss as last time. Hank was being pulled in different directions, because the little ones were still up, and yet I still needed him by my side. Most of the time, he was next to me. Of course, one of the very few times he left my side, I blacked out. From what Hank tells me, it must've only been for a second. He said he heard me yell something, and then he heard a crash. All I remember is trying to get up from off the bathroom floor, and feeling immediately that my eye was swollen. A few hours after that, I was finally able to get to sleep. (During all of this, I was in contact with my midwife. I had decided that I didn't want her coming. I know my body well enough to know if something out of the ordinary were happening. It wasn't. I also know all the warning signs for infections and all of that. I just wanted to be left alone and to sleep.)

The next day, the girls stayed home, because they just didn't get any sleep. We used that opportunity have Hank take them to get their immunizations updated, since the deadline was approaching fast. (I'll talk about my aggravation with that, later.) Hank rounded up all the kids, and I stayed home and rested. It's amazing what a miscarriage will take out of you. A trip to the bathroom was about as tiring as running a 5K.

The big thing about all of this is being able to see the positive. No, this is nothing to do with my Lenten promise of giving up negativity. It's just that while I tend to be a Debbie Downer many times, the crises are where I really start to look for the positive side of things. It's what gets me through. I believe my babies are at peace in Heaven. Granted, I'm not sure when a person gets a soul. Is it the second the sperm meets the egg? Who knows? I just know that's what my heart tells me. They never had to spend a day in our sin filled world. I'm not sad for them. I do get a little sad when I see baby stuff, but that's being a little sad for me. I'm also reminded of what good friends and family I have. One great friend from WV sent us a boat load of Papa Johns pizza. My children have never met her, but I think she is officially their favorite person right now. I received numerous calls from church. Lots of messages from family. We are loved.

Oh, and remember the fall I took? As silly as it sounds, that part has been the most entertaining of all. I have the biggest black eye. It's a nice shade of purple. The only issue is that it's still swollen, and I have a good bit of purple under my eye. Can't camoflage that with a nice plum shade on the other eye. My oldest told me that it brings out my eye color. Uh, thanks... LOL! It's also made going out in public fun. I haven't done much, since I'm still resting quite a bit, but I did run out this morning while I was kid free (the girls were at school, Ezra was sleeping, and Hank was at home getting ready for work), and I got a few awesome looks from people, though nobody asks. I'm just going to tell them, "If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy!"

Anyway, I'm sure I've rambled on enough. Life is not always easy, but with God, good friends, and family, it sure makes the rough times better.