It sounds so hokey...

...but I'm giving up NEGATIVITY for Lent. Through the amazing power of Facebook, I got the idea through a friend at church, who had posted the idea to another friend (well, my daughter's friend). Initially, I joked that I was going to give up exercise. There's one problem with that. I would've actually had to have been exercising to give it up. I was thinking about sugar. Processed foods. Really, my only real "vices" are food (well, too much food), being a complainer and being lazy. Working on all of these is a goal of every day life. However, I never realized just how hard it is to look upon your day in a positive way all the time. Sure, you have good days. We all do. However, we all have some really crummy days. It's not about being a Pollyanna, but realizing something is unfortunate is one thing. Dwelling on it is another.

For instance, my husband just discovered that our AC/Heating unit outside is making a horrible noise. He checked it out, and it's nothing major, but he can't fix it until he gets home from work. Just a couple of screws loose. (He married me, so he has experience with this sort of thing!) It wasn't noticed yesterday, but yesterday the heat never came on. It was 50something degrees all day. It happened when it was in the 30s. So, we're going to be cold today. It's not ideal, but think about how blessed I am to have to only deal with ONE day of cold. I'm not homeless. I'm not living in some part of the country (or the world) where they are experiencing subzero temperatures. Sometimes we can take these things to realize just how blessed we are.

It's going to snow tomorrow. Really, I want to whine and cry about it, but really? This will be the third snow this winter. We got record snowfall earlier in the month at 12". We don't live in Maryland (where some great friends live) where a measly foot of snow would've been great in comparison. Also, I live in Texas where the weather changes more often than I change my socks. (Hey! When I wear socks, I change them daily! You shush!) It was warm this weekend. I haven't looked at the weather, but I'm sure it will be warm again, soon.

So... Positivity it is. I'm going to be *that* person. I'm sure I won't always succeed, but it's constantly in the back of my mind to be thankful instead of sad.

Maybe I'll also work on that whole "giving up laziness" thing too. What? More surprising things have happened!

As an aside, I looked up the LCMS (Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod) stance on giving up something for Lent. I knew it wasn't a requirement. We are not required to fast either. Just for curiosity. I've been a "Missouri Scented Lutheran" (as my husband would say) for about 6 years. I started attending regularly after my husband and I married, and I was baptized the very same day as both of my daughters (April 25, 2004). I'm still learning. (More than that, I'm a follower of Christ. This denomination seems to be the one I feel makes the most sense theologically, but really, it's all about my walk with my

Excuses, excuses...

Yes... Again, I've been gone for a while. I swear it wasn't because life was too harried, or that I drowned in a vat of Haggen Daaz (sic) Five Coffee ice cream. I swear. I have a really good reason. I just can't tell all of you about it for a couple of weeks. (I know I have so many readers that you're all going to be biting your nails until I reveal, right?)

I've also taken a break from Weight Watchers. I love the lifestyle, but right now I'm good where I'm at. I want to focus more on fitness than the scale, though I did buy a scale, and I'm keeping track. I really just want to stay the same for a while. I'm okay being a size 12. I like me. My husband thinks I'm super sexy, and is there anyone else I'm really trying to impress in that arena?

The big thing is that I'm not constantly worried about my weight or what I'm eating. I foul up sometimes. I might eat way too much junk one day. However, I've really started to get in touch with how I feel afterward, and it's not a good thing. I've learned that feeling good is more important than overloading on junk.

I had started becoming obsessed on weigh in days. It wasn't the fault of Weight Watchers, it was me. I became so focused on seeing a lower number that I was not eating anything those days, and I was even refraining from drinking liquids a few hours before weigh in, with the exception of a strong coffee... That's not good. I'll go back when I'm ready.

Weekly Weigh In...

While I'm being accountable by going to my meetings every week and weighing in, I might as well come here and let all of my friends on the interwebs in on it, also. I seem to have fallen into a pattern. I gain slightly, lose big, then lose small. Overall, it all works out to losing steadily. I can't say that I'm fond of the weeks I gain. Last week, I gained .8lbs. No biggie, but I don't like it either. I went in today knowing I would break my little pattern. I binged pretty heavily on Saturday night/Sunday morning. The rest of the week, I ate pretty clean. Mostly proteins, good fats (more on this later), veggies and fruits. Very few grains. I weighed in this evening, and to my surprise, I lost 3.8lbs this week! WOOT!

Anyway... About my idea of "good" fats. I think most fat, in it's natural state, is good for you. Many vitamins are fat soluble. To absorb them, you need some fat. I've also noticed that my skin gets extra dry when I eat too little fat. Now, olive oil is one everyone seems to agree on. I use extra virgin olive oil, and I get it unfiltered, if I can. I rarely cook with it, because that changes things, and it's not quite as healthy. If I cook with fat, I use Extra Virgin Coconut Oil. It's high in saturated fats, but it helps to combat candida (yeast) in your body, and actually works to aid your metabolism. I even use things like *gasp* butter and *shriek* bacon fat. I just don't go hog wild (get it!?!?!) on them.

Enough of me on my soap box... I'll get off now.

Anna, a girl with so much... Um... Character!

All of my kids are wonderfully smart and unbelievably unique. All of them. However, one in particular has been making me laugh, and she's amazed me with her want to learn.

I present do you, Miss Anna.


The above shot was taken by the fabulous Chera, and I love these random photos the best. Sure, we tried to pose them, but really, this is their true personality. Not long ago, I heard Anna described as "spunky"... Yep. That's pretty much it.



This picture (taken with my phone) shows her trying to be Miss Diva. This is her most common pose, and she does it for every.single.picture.


See what I mean?

This girl is doesn't simply try to get attention, she craves it. Almost as much as she craves knowledge. I'm darned near worn out from all the questions. I have to remind myself that this is a good thing. Just this Sunday she was asking us to teach her about multiplication. Really? Kid, you're FIVE. So, I guess a lesson is coming soon, if she wants.

She's also not fooled easily. In her prayers, she asked God to make one of her baby teeth fall out, so that the nurse would give her a toothbrush and tooth necklace. I laughed, but told her that it will happen one day, and we don't get to decide when. Eventually, we started talking about the Tooth Fairy. I told her she'd get some money in exchange for her tooth. She said, "Yeah, but is this Tooth Fairy real?" I said, "Well, if you don't believe in the Tooth Fairy, she won't give you any money." She replied, "Okay, I'll believe in her, but really... Is she real?" Oh dear.

Blogging about the fact that I haven't blogged...

I've become one of those. I promise to get better. I feel like the deadbeat dad who's forever promising to take his son fishing, but always bails. I will not be a deadbeat blogger any longer.

SO... How's about some updates?

Emotional Baggage: It's good. There's very little. Not to say that I don't have good and bad days, but the good are FAR outweighing the bad since I started taking Prozac. My wonderful, understanding husband could not understand why I was so sad, angry and emotional all the time, and it was taking a toll on us. He's a pretty anti-meds kind of guy, so seeing him become a believer is pretty funny.

Weight Loss: Slower than before the miscarriage, but still going well. 54.6 pounds lost since April 20. That includes the nearly two months I knew I was pregnant. That's pretty good. I seem to have fallen into some sort of lose/lose/gain pattern lately, and I'm not sure what's causing it, but I'm still mostly losing. I even managed to lose over the Thanksgiving Holiday. I wouldn't know if that's ever happened before, because I've never been brave enough to get anywhere near a scale during the holidays. That means I have 22.8 pounds to lose to get to a "healthy" BMI, though I'm already feeling really healthy. Then again, the stupid BMI chart listed me as overweight back when I was 170 and in a size 8. Meh. lol

Kids: Allison is doing great, but I worry that she's overloaded. She's a very smart and capable kid, so I'm letting her keep doing what she's doing as long as she can keep her grades up. Anna is a total smarty pants. Her MAP scores showed that she is where they expect 2nd grade kids to be in the Spring. (I forget the actual score, I'll have to look in my file... lol) Her math abilities put her on a 1st grade level. Her teacher is giving her different homework than the rest of the students so that she can be challenged. I'm VERY happy with her teacher. She has issues talking out of turn, but this is Anna. I expected that. We have a deal that if she gets "Purple" or "Superstar" level behavior for 5 days in a row, I will bring her the lunch of her choice (probably some junk from McDonalds. Nothing says love like rewarding good behavior with food, right?) Ezra is Ezra. He's such a smart, funny little kid, but we're working on getting him interested in some learning activities. He has no interest in learning most of the general academic stuff, so it's a challenge.

I also have plenty of pictures and video to post, but we wouldn't want too much excitement in one post, would we? I have to save something for the future, so that I can keep my promise, right?

Audiobooks

Why have I not discovered them sooner? Okay, so it's not as if I didn't know they were around. Goodness. Of course, I know that. I just never thought I would never be interested. I mean, I rarely read. I read magazines and articles. I will read historical biographies occasionally. Overall, however, I just haven't the attention span.

For whatever reason, I wandered into the audiobook section of Allen Public Library the other day. I saw the novel Wicked by Gregory Maguire. Oooh. I'll check this out. There was no loss if I didn't like it.

I am addicted. At least to this book. I already have the next one here by my side. Son of a Witch by the same author. The second in the series.

It's even caused me to temporarily abandon the Pandora application on my BB while in the carpool lane (sounds GREAT through my car stereo speakers). That is big, folks. LOL!

The people who live with me...

...might want to run for cover. I'm thinking they've already given it some serious though.

I'm not sure what is going on with me, but everything aggravates, saddens, or downright angers me lately. I promise it's not intentional. BELIEVE ME. I'd rather just let all the little things slide off my back. And I should make a conscious choice to do so. I'm trying. Just not successfully.

I think one thing I might do is just lay low while the family goes to church and lunch. I know that Hank doesn't want to spend time away from me, but it might be relaxing for them not to worry about me getting aggravated/sad/angered over something small. Boo.

Still... I need to go into tomorrow preparing myself just to let the small stuff go. Totally. Let.it.go. I'm not saying it will be easy. If it were, I wouldn't be having these crummy days. But a conscious choice is where it starts.

So... I'm going to try.